Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Wilful wonder ...

This last few weeks I have mostly been distracted from writing with wondering ...

I wonder why the snowdrops I'm seeing through the window are not of the variety I would most like to see at this time of year. I wonder just how much longer I am going to kid myself that I can be fit for summer if I just follow the basic eat less; exercise more 'rules' - like that's REALLY ever going to happen. Mostly I wonder if my writerly ambitions are merely an excuse to legitimately sit comfortably reading and dreaming and scribbling the odd few words in no particular order.

Don't get me wrong, I am making progress. I am filling ever more pages with ever more words in ever more colourful ways - it's an output, of sorts! Tiny grains of ideas laid down daily and cocooned in the pages of my notebook like the tiny eggs of a butterfly camouflaged amongst leaves.

I read recently that butterfly eggs can lay dormant for up to a year before emerging into larvae (I read that some larvae form 'mutual associations with ants' - the larvae communicate with the ants using vibrations. How do people KNOW this?). Catapillars mature through a series of stages called instars where the outer tougher layers of skin crack and shed to expose a softer layer beneath. Each of these instars getting closer to the true picture of the butterfly.

So I lay the eggs of my ideas in my notebook. I revisit them to explore them further, scrutinise them; scratch off the surface crust, excavate a little further towards maturity? Looking to see if these ideas might evolve into stories with wings that can fly?

It might happen, it certainly won't happen if I don't at least try, and if it doesn't? Well at least I'm comfortable!


  1. Butterflies are so beautiful when they finally emerge too. I hope you consider me a fellow ant. Great to see you're still on with your writing, these things can't be rushed I reckon. :O) x

  2. YOU are a writer. OK? Whether you write from 5am to midnight mon-fri, or when you are well and able, YOU are a writer. Relax. Enjoy. Write. XX

  3. Well, I am certainly feeling more confident in that 'role' Carol and your support really means a lot xx

  4. You are definitely a writer if you wonder so much that it distracts you from writing for periods of time. Writing is not something which should be rushed so it sounds to me as if you're going about it exactly right.

    1. Thanks for the vote of confidence DJK, much appreciated ;) xx